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If you are training this week and/or playing this Saturday, it is compulsory for you to register otherwise insurance will not cover your medical costs following rugby related injuries at training or whilst playing. If you do not have a credit card, please select the cheque option and bring your money to training on thursday or to Saturdays game.
Whilst you are on the kobweb check out the new Dear Rudds segment. If you need advice to those burning issues (you can keep your identity to yourself) or just want a laugh, go and have a look. The Dear Rudds icon is next to the regos. Send your questions or problems or theories to click here. There will be a prize for the question of the month!!
As per the email sent by Gloss yesterday, we will now be conducting training on Tuesday evenings every week from 6:30pm.
This is compulsory for all members of the Kentwell squad (1st & 2nd Grade) and open to everyone else who may need a bit more fitness.
See you down at Wentworth Park tonight!
Dear Guru,
I’m a colt and I’m single. I’ve started at collage and I’ve noticed all these beautiful looking women around campus. The thing is – they don’t notice me?
How do I land one?
Confused,
Dear Confused,
I don’t claim to be relationship expert, sure I’ve got the box set of Dr. Phil and I’ve read John Grey’s masterpiece “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” (1992, Amozon $29.95 plus postage.) but i can offer some advice on the matter.
Before I met my darling, I had quite the reputation as a ladies man in Brisbane. So much so, I had to move to Sydney and started playing Rugby with Kobbies.
Confused, you’re almost on the mark with the phrase “land one.”
Landing women is like landing fish: Here’s how:
You need a Rod:
It goes with out saying that you need a rod to catch a fish. Same goes with women. You need to first understand how your rod works. If you have a small rod, you go after small shy fish. If you have a big rod, you can go after the trophy fish. You need to clean and maintain your rod. Understand your rods limitations. Never say that you have a big rod to impress the girls. If you don’t get this right, you’ll never land one.
You need a line:
The great 250+ Kobby legend Sarg had a line. His was “Your beauty doesn’t intimidate me (then walk away) – worked like a treat for him. Mine was simple, straight forward and worked almost every time. Here’s what you do: Go to a house party and stand by the light switch. When an attractive young lass walks past, quickly flick the switch and go for the inner thigh. If she screams, say “Sorry, I thought that was my leg.”
You need bait:
You can’t catch a shark with a worm. Same with girls. You can’t catch a woman without alcohol.
Good news for you colties. The Alcohopop tax has been dropped. That means more bait for the ladies. If you throw a party – never have BYO – always make a punch (bait) for the ladies – I always went for OUZO and lemonade. Worked a treat.
Tackle:
Refer to “you need a rod.” But like all tackle you need a box.
Where do I fish:
You don’t fish off Shark Island to catch Rainbow Trout. You have the Rod, Bait, Line and Tackle. The most important part of fishing is doing your research. Follow a couple of rules and you should be fine:
- Rule one: Trawl for ladies at dawn or dusk. I’ve never seen a Sea Perch being plucked from the ocean at midday. Only professional fishermen can achieve this feat!
- Rule two: Fish, like woman, travel in schools. The secret is to lure them away from the others. E.g. tell them what they want to hear – If they look like a Grouper tell them they look like a Murray Cod. It works, trust me.
- Rule three: Fish in international waters. Back packers are like the fisherman’s basket at your local fish and chip shop. It’s a good feed at the time, but its smells, its too oily and you don’t really know the name of the fish that your eating. But lets face it lads, they are good fighters! You can’t beat international waters. Just ask the Japanese!
- Rule four: Taxi cab lines are like aquariums. You have a variety of fish in the one location from all over Sydney. This is the last chance to land in the big one! Always look for fish holding pizza boxes and always ask to split a cab with them – even if you don’t live in Campbelltown – you have an hour and 45 minutes to reel them in.
What do I do when I land one?:
As a gentleman, I never reveal what happens, but from a fisherman’s perspective I would scale them, rub little oil over the fresh flesh and serve on a bed. If it’s a trophy fish – forget about scaling them and mount them straight away.
Confused, I hope I’ve helped a little. Remember that you don’t always catch a fish every time you go out. Sure you will get some nibbles at the end of your rod. But like all good fisherman you will have some terrific stories of the ones that got away and the keepers that you took home. Always remember to take a photo of your catch and never boast about how big she was at the pub!
Tight lines.
Guru
(If you have any of life’s questions please send me an email. Your questions and identity are highly confidential and will be treated with respect.)
Put this in your diary today.
King’s Old Boy’s Rugby have our annual Ladies Day on Saturday April 18th at McKay Oval in Centennial Park.
Kickoff is at 9:30am and the games go through to 4:30pm.
That evening the plan is to head to The Royal Oak at Double Bay to watch the Waratahs and continue the festivities – for those with staying power I have a 1am date with Iguana Bar or Sugar Mill in Kings Cross, see you there.
On the day as with prior years we will have free champagne for the ladies supplied by Peterson’s Champagne House (sells for $25 a bottle) and beers & BBQ on sale for the boys.
We will have about $3k worth of prizes to be raffled etc.
Feel free to pass this on to your mates.
This weekend will be our final trial for 2009 with the season kicking off next weekend against the 2008 Club Champions, Drummoyne. We will be playing Old Ignations (another strong 1st Division Club) at the Kingdome in the trial so it’ll be a great test of how prepared we are for this season.
We need everyone on board for this one so register (click here) this week and be at training on Thursday from 6:30pm.
Fadge.
Team Sheets Below
Trial Vs Old Ignations 28/3/09
Club members can submit anything they like, pictures, articles, comments, humour (would be a nice addition), ideas, there are no limitations.
The site will work best if you submit anything that occurs to you and if you have an questions don’t hesitate to let us know. You can do this through this contact form or send them to Campbell Rogers or Sarge. Please include your name with any submissions so we know who we are laughing at.
We will up-date the site with your contributions and hopefully it will expand into a comprehensive representation of our club on the web.
If anyone wants to go to the Waratahs v Crusaders tomorrow night I have four free tickets available. Please note that the game is at ANZ Stadium, not the SFS. If you want the tickets you’ll need to be able to pick them up from me in the CBD by 4pm today.
Tom McFayden – 0404 105 185
This is your gentle reminder to register for 2009! The season begins in two weeks so we need to get everyone in the system ASAP. Come round one, every player who intends to take the field must be fully paid and registered. For those of you re-registering please remember to select a payment option; otherwise you will not be registered properly.
Those who are playing in Orange tomorrow need to register and pay today. Prior to taking the field we are required to provide each player’s ARU number to the competition organisers. If you aren’t registered we won’t have this number. If we don’t have your number you are likely to find yourself helping Schwilk mind the Esky and not playing!
For registrations please click here.
Front Row Media is pleased to announce they we will be sponsoring KOB’s again in 2009.
Front Row Media has sponsored KOB’s since 2000, this year sponsorship will include upgrading the website along with the now famous “Bundy Big Hit, Free Brick” for the biggest clean tackle made on the field each week.
The Bundy Big hit starts this weekend at Orange 10’s with a bottle of OP Bundy Rum up for grabs.
Just a quick reminder about registrations and training tonight. Also, don’t forget to come down to the Oak tomorrow night. We have organised a meat raffle and it would be good to see as many of you down there for the Brumbies v Tahs game, and the early kiwi game if you can make it.
The raffle tickets will be on sale from 5:30pm which is when the Blues v Cheetahs game begins.Training tonight will be mainly skills based working in 3 groups for the session.
The aim is to have a good sharp training and finish early for a few beers at the Kauri.Rego’s are also due now and remember that YOU WILL NOT BE COVERED BY INSURANCE IF YOU HAVE NOT REGISTERED PRIOR TO TAKING THE FIELD FOR EITHER TRAINING OR GAMES.