Dear 4th grade,
I know I have been gone all season, but my passion for the mighty 4ths has not diminished. So it has brought me both joy and pain to see you in the Grand Final this weekend. Joy for all you have achieved, and pain because I cannot be there to witness you hold the Benson and Hedges Trophy (that’s what it’s called, right?) aloft on Saturday afternoon.
Not only do I love the 4s, but all of the players as well. I have known at least 8 of you since birth, and the remaining 7 I met some time during the last 15 years. I am godfather to 5 of you, uncle to 2 and stepfather to Rueben (but not Kyle or Monty… it’s complicated). So that makes it even harder for me to miss this game.
But enough about me. You blokes have put in a ripper season, and deserve everything that comes your way. Sometimes that is not enough, though. Sometimes the rugby gods can be cruel bastards, and you need to take them out of it by fronting up and playing the fucking house down.
Yeah it might be wet, and cold. Yeah Briars can be rough units, and the ref may well be incompetent. But you blokes are good enough to take all that out of the equation. Hit them hard, hit them often, then rub their head in the mud and say ‘yeah! You can’t be bringing that weak shit into this humpy bumpy’… or not, just go with where the emotion takes you.
Because this is the moment. UNSW aren’t there to fuck us over any more. Drinking from that Winfield Cup will be the sweetest thing you’ve experienced since you first heard Savage Garden, and I will be cheering from afar that you can do just that. You are all good enough- Derek, Gilmore, Rav, Benny, Brendo, Rudman. You’ve been there before, you know what it takes.
Go hard, boys. I have no doubt you can roll right over Briars on Saturday. You deserve it.
And KOBs, make sure you get there and make some fucking noise. 4ths is the grade that turns boys into men, and where men transcend the mortal realm to sit at the right hand of the rugby gods. These are the kings of the club, the kings of rugby, and they deserve your support. Get out to Parramatta and give them all you’ve got.
I look forward to seeing you all soon to join in the celebarations.